I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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