5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think people are normalizing furries
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
