Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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