dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
smell my finger.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
