Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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