3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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