U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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