porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
