she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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