The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
