yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
