i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
