16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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