i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
