Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
