i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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