Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
