Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
