Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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