im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
