I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
