Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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