Sry I called you an 8
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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