they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
