What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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