honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Randomize
