thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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