All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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