This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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