Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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