oh god the rape fog is back!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
