i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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