but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
