I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
