My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
