at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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