i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
