At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I came so hard my ears popped.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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