I'm jealous of your bromance
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
