Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
