tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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