I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
