I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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