Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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