I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
