Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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