I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
