Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
