I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
