last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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