youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
